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Famous quotes by Joseph Heller
Every writer I know has trouble writing.
Joseph Heller
Whe I read something saying I've not done anything as good as "Catch-22" I'm tempted to reply, "Who
has?"
Joseph Heller
I had examined myself pretty thoroughly and discovered that I was unfit for military service.
Joseph Heller
Success and failure are both difficult to endure. Along
with success come drugs, divorce, fornication, bullying, travel, meditation, medication, depression, neurosis and suicide. With failure comes failure.
Joseph Heller
We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist.
Joseph Heller
When I grow up I want to be a little boy.
Joseph Heller
I don't believe in miracles because it's been a long time since we've had any.
Joseph Heller
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
Joseph Heller
The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on.
Joseph Heller
Frankly, I'd like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole
field to private industry.
Joseph Heller
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
Joseph Heller
He knew everything about literature except how to enjoy it.
Joseph Heller
I think in every country that there is at least one executive who is scared of going crazy.
Joseph Heller
How much reverence can you have for a Supreme Being who finds it necessary to include such
phenomena as phlegm and tooth decay in His divine system of Creation? What in the world was running through that warped, evil, scatalogical mind of His when He robbed old people of the power to control their bowel
movements?
Joseph Heller
Hungry Joe collected lists of fatal diseases and arranged them in alphabetical order so that he could put his finger without delay on any one he wanted to worry about.
Joseph Heller
Lots of people who complained about us receiving the MBE received theirs for heroism in the war - for killing people. We received ours for entertaining other people. I'd say we deserve ours
more.
Joseph Heller
The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on.
Joseph Heller
Like Olympic medals and tennis trophies, all they signified was that the
owner had done something of no benefit to anyone more capably than everyone else.
Joseph Heller
He was a self-made man who owed his lack of success to nobody.
Joseph Heller
Destiny is a good
thing to accept when it's going your way. When it isn't, don't call it destiny; call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck.
Joseph Heller
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